Readers, it may shock you to learn that in spite of how stupid and terrible they are, people are still having children these days. What's even worse is that there's a plethora of terrible books that have been written on how to raise these aforementioned stupid and terrible snot-monsters, even though I already authored the definitive text on the subject. Today we'll look at 3 of the worst examples of people whose parenting books are so bad it's a wonder they're allowed to live within 500 feet of a school. Let's begin:
If there's one thing the internet is abundant with, it's completely insane conspiracy theories. Whether it's counting the million individual ways Obama is trying to destroy America, or something even stupider than that, the internet never seems to disappoint. According to the internet, Israel is the true perpetrator of the Sandy Hook Massacre, the moon is secretly a hologram for vague and unclear reasons, and reptiles control the world's government. Judging from this bullshit, it seems like there's literally no bottom to how stupid and gullible the dipshits of the world are. Well, I'd like to focus today on 3 people who have dedicated their lives to warning us all of the dangers we face everyday but are too stupid to see. Let's dive right in, shall we?
In a lot of ways, the advent of ebooks has been an amazing thing for the aspiring writers of the world; they allow budding novelists to get their masterworks directly to the eager masses for consumption, without the need for a middleman publishing company. Unfortunately, as is to be expected when you allow dipshits to write whatever insane crap they want, the market was instantly flooded with poorly written, barely readable garbage. With that, a new breed of internet asshole was born: the opportunistic money whore operating under the guise of being a 'writer'. Whenever a tragedy or panic strikes, we can trust that the 24 hour news cycle will publicly wring out its desiccated corpse, eager to lap up any remaining drops of story juice. It's easy to get cynical about the latest media circus du-jour and correctly realize it's all just a ploy to bring in more of that sweet, sweet ad revenue. Well, major news stations (at least in theory, and under ideal circumstances) kind of at least need to know what the fuck they're talking about in regards to the story. Ebook writers are not confined by the same creativity-dampening shackles. When a paycheck is on the line and you've got literally zero editorial feedback to worry about, a race to the absolute bottom is sure to ensue. Here are 3 'writers' who prove this theory beyond any doubt:
Good afternoon, true believers! Today I'd like to add another very special chapter to my just about award-deserving movement to set fire to your local library. For this installment, I'll be focusing on celebrities whose existence mocks the very concept of justifiable praise. I'd like to prove beyond any shadow of doubt that not only are these dipshits unworthy of even the modicum of attention they already get, but that their books are actually somehow worth less than nothing. Continue reading